Of course, I don't have the answer to that question because there is no answer. It just is.
I held back my own tears (and anyone who knows me well will tell you this was no mean feat) until I rounded the corner. I cried through pretty much the entire run. I cried for the man I never knew who won't get to golf this summer. I cried for his wife who will have to walk the dog alone from now on. I even cried for their dog.
I cried for my cousins (and their mom) who lost their dad a couple of weeks ago.
I cried because life isn't fair and sometimes it just sucks. Really, really sucks.
And then I stopped to wipe my glasses and realized I was standing by a patch of lupins. I've gone by them several times this week, but never stopped to look at them closely. Today I did. They are beautiful, the dark pink ones are my favourite, which is funny because I'm not really a pink kind of gal.
As I watched them blow in the breeze, I thought about how hardy they are. Resilient. They come back every year, no matter how harsh the winter is. The wind never breaks them, they may grow a little crooked sure, but they keep growing tall. Sun or rain, they bloom anyway.
I thought about how lucky I am to have this beautiful day. I was able to go out and enjoy it. I could go for a run, so many can't. I could stop and smell the flowers. And I did, literally and without getting stung, I might add (there were a shit ton of bees there). Now, that's lucky.
I actually had a chat with my neighbour last summer by that very patch of lupins, we even talked about how pretty they were. He didn't know then that he wouldn't live to see them bloom this summer. He didn't know that he only had a year left. Just one more moment in time.
There is never, ever enough time. And nothing is ever guaranteed.
Each day we get with the people we love is a blessing.
And yes, sometimes the endings come far sooner than we want them to.
Sometimes we are just meant to love each other, as best we can, for as long as we can.
Life is too damn short.
Today I was reminded of that.
I think I'll go plant some lupins in my garden so I'll never forget it.
"Life is the flower of which love is the honey."~ Victor Hugo
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